If you have, (or ever have had), little children in your life, haven’t you often been surprised by the thoughts they share with you? “Where on earth did he/she hear that?” we wonder. The answer is most often directly from you and even a chance comment can have a very long-term effect on the future of one whose little ears and eyes are always open. 

Mary was a very smart little girl and always brought home a report card with straight A’s. Her sister Debbie did not. Their mother, (and God bless most mothers, we all do the best we can with the tools we have!), tried to make a real effort to reinforce her girls individual strengths..

So whenever Mary and Debbie brought home their report cards, she would pat Mary on the head and say, “You’re so smart, Mary.” And to Debbie she would say, “Debbie, you’re so pretty.” According to Mary, the two of them grew up with these “critiques” tattooed on their little psyches. 

Mary, believing she was smart but not pretty, never thought about getting married. Instead, she went to college, completed a couple of degrees and found a good job. It wasn’t a job she loved but it paid well and, after all, she was going to have to support herself for the rest of her life. 

Debbie, on the other hand, never even thought about going to college. Instead, she worked on her social skills and her appearance in order to land a good husband who would and could always take care of her.

When Mary was in her 40′s, she read something about how the power that words we heard in our childhood could influence the way our lives evolved as adults. She could just hear her Mother’s voice saying: Mary, you’re so smart. Debbie, you’re so pretty. She talked it over with Debbie and they decided to redraw those mental pictures their Mother had painted of them years ago. 

Not very much later, Mary met and married a wonderful man and also landed the job of her dreams. Debbie, who already had a supportive husband and a good marriage, went to college and earned not one degree but two. How many of us, like Mary and Debbie, go through life without ever realizing we’re living, (existing), within boundaries that never really existed? 

In the book the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz tells about a single mother, holding down two jobs, who came home from work with a blinding headache one day. Her little girl, filled with joy because her Mother came home unexpectedly, was dancing and singing, and her Mother said, “Please doesn’t sing, Honey. It makes Mommy’s head hurt.” The child never sang again—not even as an adult! 

I found Ruiz’s languaging as he told that story – gripping: “She developed a whole complex from one spell”, he wrote, “the spell cast upon her by her own mother, who loved her most of all.” 

Actually, we start out inadvertently “casting our spells” pretty early, simply because we’re not AWAKE to our own power. 

When our children are babies, we croon to them: “Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop / When the wind blows, the cradle will rock…” Isn’t that a lovely picture? Then – “When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall / And down will come baby, cradle and all.” No wonder little ones don’t want to take a nap! We wouldn’t either if we held that picture in our heads! 

Years ago, when I was working at the Unity Village Chapel, Reverend Chris Chenoweth, who was serving as the Minister there at the time, was writing his Sunday talk. All of a sudden, he came bounding out of his office (as we have since found ministers with bright ideas tend to do), asking, “Whatever happened to the old lady who lived in the shoe?” I thought he was rehearsing a joke and so I said, “Ok. I’ll bite. What did happen the old woman who lived in shoe? “No, no,” he said. “I’m serious. I need to know happened to her. You know, ‘There was an old lady who lived in a shoe / She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do …’. Then what?” I couldn’t remember either, when put on the spot like that, so I said I would run down to the library and get a copy of Mother Goose. 

On the way to the library, I suddenly remembered the rest of the verse. “She gave them some broth without any bread / then spanked them all soundly and put them to bed.”

I was pretty sure Chris wasn’t going to want to use that in his talk, but since I had already called to reserve the book, I continued on to the library. When I got there, I explained to the librarian that the minister probably wouldn’t want to use the Mother Goose rhyme after all. And the librarian asked, “Did you happen to look it up in ‘Positively Mother Goose?’ ” 

This is the version of “The Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe” from “Positively Mother Goose”: “There was a bold woman who lived in a shoe, / She had many children and knew just what to do. / ‘You all are lovable with special gifts,’ she said, / Then she hugged them all fondly and tucked them in bed.” In “Positively Mother Goose”, “Rock-a-bye Baby” is written: “Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop, / When the wind blows the cradle will rock, / Birdies and squirrels will all be at play / And you can watch them throughout the day.” Not surprisingly, “Positively Mother Goose” became my favorite baby-shower gift. (Unfortunately, it is now out of print, but there are a few new and used copies for sale on Amazon.com and perhaps on E-Bay as well.) 

Here is what Don Miguel Ruiz says about the importance of making an effort to choose our words carefully. “A ‘word’ is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force. It is the power you have to express and communicate, to think and thereby to create the events in your life. You can speak. What other animal on the planet can speak? The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human. It is the tool of magic. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.”

In his book “Smile for No Good Reason”, Lee Jampolsky includes a chapter entitled “Watch Your Language.” Jampolsky said that when he was learning a new language, he had the opportunity to “not learn” unpleasant words, and therefore he didn’t. 

The same thing happened to a German Seminary classmate of mine named – Gunther Planeth. He’d learned the purest form of English, and his English was impeccable. But he didn’t understand our idioms. I sat next to Gunther in class every day, and when he didn’t understand a word that someone used, he’d ask me a questions like: “Lauren, what do they mean potluck?” Usually it was an amusing idiom he missed the meaning of but sometimes the word he was questioning, derogatory. I would say to him, “Gunther, that’s a mean word.” “Don’t tell me,” he’d reply. “I don’t want to know.” 

Some words, according to Jampolsky, are limiting, and he suggests we use them very sparingly: words like “can’t,” “impossible,” “never,” “stupid,” “weak,” “inferior.” Others are labeling words, like “hopeless” and “useless” and “dumb”. 

To help his students discover the impact of words, Jampolsky asks them to sit for five minutes and quietly repeat a group of limiting words such as “hate,” “impossible,” “afraid,” “frown,” and “separate.”

Then he asks the students how they feel. Jampolsky says “awful” is the word they usually use to describe their feelings. In the next part of his lesson, he has his students sit for five minutes and quietly repeat these words: “forgive,” “possible,” “love,” “smile,” and “one.” 

That segment of his class leaves the students feeling much better. This exercise is very telling. You might want to try it. It proves that we really need to AWAKEN to the words we choose because they directly affect the way we feel every day. 

Jampolsky also asks each of his students a very interesting question. “If you were marooned on a desert island and your speech was limited to only one word, what would that word be?”  

Jampolsky chose LOVE. – I chose GOD. – My husband John chose FREEDOM. 

If you could have only one word to use for the rest of your life, what word would you choose?

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 “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin is available on Amazon.com as a perfect paperback or on Kindle for electronic transmission.

What happens to our sensibilities when we’re in love? What sensibilities? They’re gone. We’re in a state of euphoria and we mistakenly believe we feel the way we feel because we’ve found someone to love us. In reality, we’re feeling so good because we’ve found someone to love. Our oh-so-satisfied feelings come from the love we are expressing rather than the affection we are receiving. “John McLaughlin – from *MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS 

Unfortunately, in the scenario above, the relationship doesn’t last because the parties involved weren’t being real. They were so desperate to have someone in their life to heap their love on, that they made excuses for behaviors they didn’t enjoy – behaviors that, over time, consumed the behaviors they did enjoy. If neither party AWAKENED before they got married, the “togetherness” of marriage dealt the final blow. We can’t pretend to be someone we are not indefinitely. 

Statistics show that in the United States today, 56% of all marriages end in divorce and another 4% in separation. And looking at all the couples you know in the remaining 40%, how many would you say are blissfully happy with each other? Oh, there are some really great marriages, of course. The estimate is that about 10% of marriages are really truly functional. Sad statistic. 

Being part of a functional marriage doesn’t mean you never argue or never have a disagreement. It means that you have created ways to work through your disagreements without damaging each other and to respect each other’s points of view in the process. 

There are only a few things to look for when building a relationship that will last. Both parties must genuinely like each other enough to allow for the regular expression of their commonalities and their individual differences. They must also trust each other to be authentic and respect each other’s right to his/her own perspectives. 

God created us each a sovereign being. We are God’s own perfect creations, exactly as we are. We don’t need to find our “other half” because we aren’t missing another half. 

If you are in a relationship right now that isn’t ideal, but you would much prefer to keep it than to dissolve it, there is a Universal tool that can help you shift your own perspective and see your partner differently.  Sometimes, that’s all it takes for you to want to love him or her again. 

It’s called Gratitude. Expressing gratitude for the things about your partner that you really like, allows you to see what attracted you originally and if you focus on those thing, he or she will begin to exhibit more of them. 

 In fact, expressing gratefulness for the positive aspects of any person, place, thing or circumstance helps you to see it differently, because you are focusing on what you like instead of what you don’t like.  Making a point to look only at the good in another person is a very simple step and the results can appear to be miraculous. 

Here’s an exercise recommended by the Spiritual Teachers called Abraham, from the book, “Ask and It is Given.” Purchase a small spiral note book – one that will fit easily in your pocket or purse because you’re going to have it with you everywhere you go for a while. Write on the cover of it – My Book of Positive Aspects. 

At the top of the first page, write the name of someone who really bugs you. And under their name, write one positive attribute about that person and give thanks for it. (Yes, you can come up with one positive aspect of anyone because everyone has positive attributes.  (Even the “God Father” was good to his own family.)  It doesn’t matter how trivial the positive aspect is at first as long as it is true – never forced.  Think:  “She uses make-up well. He’s very nice to his dog. She makes a lot of money. He’s kind to animals. She always flies the flag on the 4^th of July.) Then express your gratitude for the fact that he/she has that attribute. 

The next time someone else bugs you, start a page in your notebook for that person. List one of his or her Positive Aspects and give thanks for it – then go back to the first page and list a second positive aspect of that person, etc. 

Of course if you think of other Positive Aspects about anyone listed in your notebook (and you will) just add them to their page and give thanks for them anytime. The more positive things – if you really mean them – that you can bring to mind about anyone, the more swiftly our attitude toward that person will change and they will, in turn, shift their attitude toward you. 

Gratitude is always the fastest road to changing anything about your life for the better. Regular expressions of gratitude will increase your prosperity, improve your health, harmonize your relationships and deepen your Spirituality.

Note: If the list of people in your Book of Positive Aspects” is very long, you might want to consider the possibility that it could be that you are the one who is a bit out of sync right now.  To help raise your level of consciousness some, try adding your own name to a page in the book and start creating a list of positive aspects – about you. 

Here are a few other gratefulness exercises that will help you to develop “the gratefulness habit.” http://youareawakening.com/tp40/page.asp?id=48077

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*MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS is a home study course on 12 DVD’s, originally filmed for a class of 40 students from Unity Church of Palm Harbor, Florida. It is available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Is-Your-Own-Business/dp/0982946406/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1309631786&sr=1-2-fkmr2

MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS is also referenced in Lauren’s book, “Go to ELF!”

To experience more inspiration from The ELF – go to www.gotoelf.com;

And subscribe to our Go to ELF blog at http://gotoelf.wordpress.com . (If you click on “e-mail subscribe” in the right had corner, each new Go to ELF blog with then go directly to your inbox.)

JUST A REMINDER – “Go to ELF!” has gone global! Readers in the United States, Canada, the UK and Europe may now purchase Lauren’s book, “Go to ELF!”, electronically on Amazon at either the Book Store or the Kindle Store for $8.99 and download it – not only to a Kindle Reader – but also to your PC, MAC, iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, Android or Windows Phone 7. The app is FREE. Why not use this convenient link and start enjoying this happy summer read right now. http://www.amazon.com/GO-TO-ELF-ebook/dp/B005J0IMSI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1314500464&sr=1-1

1)   You are never alone. I am you and you are me – everywhere and always. 

2)   The answer to every question you will ever ask is already written on your heart. 

3) You came to planet earth to have fun”.

*The ELF (The Eternal Life Force) – from the novel, “Go to ELF!”

Can life really be that simple? It can and it is if we stay AWAKE. It’s only when we are lulled into mental sleep by situations in life that we don’t want to face, that we forget that a joy-filled life can be as simple as 1-2-3.

1 ) – You are never alone. I am you and you are me – everywhere and always.

Eric Butterworth, author of “Discover the Power Within You”, tells about a little boy who was lost in the woods near his home. When it began to get dark and he couldn’t find his way back, he crawled up into a tree and fell asleep. When morning came, he woke to the sound of people calling his name and he climbed down to meet them. “Weren’t you scared out here all alone all night?” his rescuers asked him. “No, I wasn’t alone,” the boy said, “God was right here with me.” Eric goes on to say that it is likely that such trust didn’t last in that boy into adulthood but it certainly worked for him that time.

Actually, that child was also following the teachings of another great contemporary philosopher – Winnie the Pooh. When life gets too overwhelming for Pooh – he says, “Oh Bother, I think I’ll take a nap.”

2) – The answer to every question you will ever ask is already written on your heart.

Unfortunately we usually discover that the answer to every question we ask is already written on our heart when we find ourselves in a tricky situation with no one around who really knows how to bail us out. It is only then that we turn to our own heart for the answer – as if it were the “court of last resort”. We could, of course, turn inward for our answers much sooner than that and save ourselves a lot of trouble.

Writer Elizabeth Sherrill was working at her word processor one day when she saw some activity outside her window. She looked out, and at the edge of the woods across the road from her house, she saw a skunk. She didn’t know very much about skunks, and she didn’t want to know very much about skunks. But she could feel a certain energy coming from the animal. She knew it was distressed. Just at that moment, the skunk ran out onto the road with something yellow on its head, something that looked like a little yellow helmet. Elizabeth got her binoculars and saw that the skunk had its head stuck in a yellow yogurt cup. The skunk had apparently poked its head into the cup to get some food and the cup had lodged behind its jaw. The skunk was blind, frustrated, frightened and maybe even starving. Elizabeth knew that she would like to do something to help the skunk, but she was afraid that if she went out there, she might frighten the skunk, and if the skunk ran away, she couldn’t catch it. She just didn’t seem to have what it took to help this skunk. So she asked God to bless it, and she went back to write.

But she couldn’t write. One of God’s creatures was in trouble, and it had been brought to her attention. She knew that. So she called the SPCA and the woman on the other end of the line said they dealt with only domestic animals. Next, she called the Department of Wildlife in another town and there she found a very helpful man. He said, “The skunk will not spray you if it can’t see you. It only sprays what it can see. However, if you remove the yogurt cup from it, be careful not to upset it.” She said, “Gee, great, God—how do you comfort an irritated, frightened skunk?” As if he’d heard her prayer, the man said, “Well, one of the things you can do is take a blanket with you and throw it over the skunk, remove the yogurt cup and run, and by the time it gets out from under the blanket, you’ll be gone.” But even before he finished the sentence, she received her answer.

She had a great sense of urgency. She didn’t change her clothes, she didn’t take her blanket—she just ran out the door to the road. But the skunk wasn’t there. So she started to run up the road and all of a sudden, the skunk came out of the woods, heading directly for her, bumping the yogurt cup on the road with every step it took. Without even a thought, Elizabeth reached out and grabbed the cup. It wouldn’t come off. The little skunk pushed with both its feet and still the cup wouldn’t come off. Finally Elizabeth planted both feet and took hold of the cup with both of her hands. The skunk seemed to know to pull in the other direction, and all of a sudden, its little head popped out and they looked into each other’s eyes. “I don’t know what he saw, and how threatening or not the apparition was,” Elizabeth said, “but what I saw was a sharp quivering nose, two small round ears, and alert black eyes that stared straight into mine. For fully 10 seconds we held each other’s gaze. Then the skunk turned, ran a few yards and vanished into the woods. When we trust God and follow God’s direction, we’re able to disband all barriers—social, economic, educational, generational, and even those between species. To remind her that trust in God is always rewarded, Elizabeth Sherrill uses the rinsed-out yogurt cup as a pencil holder on her desk, as an inspiration whenever she writes.

3) – What sort of internal response do you get when you read the third condition for living a joy-filled life? “You came to planet earth to have fun”. Isn’t life supposed to be serious, at least after we become a grown-up? Actually, no. Your life experience can be any way you want it to be, but if you have all the choices, why not choose fun? In Lauren’s novel “Go to ELF!”, when The ELF talked to Frankie about it, here’s how the conversation went:

“Why did I choose to be human?” Frankie asked. “What do I get in physical form that I don’t get in non-physical form?”

“Oh, far more goodies than you can contemplate, Frankie,” the ELF said. “Before you were born, you looked on the earth and you saw how spectacular a planet it is. You saw oceans to cross and mountains to climb, you saw grand openings and grand prix’s, you saw sunrises and sunsets and pizza and beer. You decided you wanted to experience all those things, which aren’t available to you in non-physical form. You chose to be human for the fun of it Frankie, and believe me, being human can be great fun.”

“Oh, come on. Are you really saying the human experience exists just for fun?” Frankie asked, an incredulous tone coming into his voice.

“Exactly. It isn’t the only reason you chose to be born, but it certainly is one of the main ones. Maybe this will help you to understand better. To use one of your favorite fun destinations as an example, being born into human form is just like buying a ticket to Disney World. You, of all people, should be able to understand that. And while you are here, you get to decide whether to do fun things or scary things or things that are just plain interesting, or all of the above.

“When you go to Disney World, you go there to enjoy it all, don’t you? You ride both ‘Space Mountain’ and ‘It’s A Small World’ with equal glee. You find ‘Frontierland just as interesting as ‘Tomorrowland,’ and nobody enjoys a parade more than you do.

“But other people go through Disney World and don’t enjoy it at all. All they see are long lines of people in their way. All they experience is the heat and the crowds and the high prices, and a bunch of grown-up people behaving like children. Whether or not you enjoy the human experience is a personal choice, Frankie. Everything you do here is a personal choice.”

“I know. That’s how Tony feels about Disney World. He can’t seem to find the fun in it.” Frankie said. “I wish he’d just let loose and enjoy it, but he never has.”

“True, but the real beauty of the human experience is that no two people have to enjoy the same things. For instance, Tony loves a good basketball game while you couldn’t care less about it. In fact, in the final minutes of the Final Four, I can assure you that he is every bit as excited as you are at the top of Space Mountain. The fact that you enjoy different things has never affected your friendship negatively though, has it?”

“No, it never has.”

“And that’s the way it should be between all individual human expressions of me. Each of you came here for different reasons, and there is never any need to convince anyone else that they should enjoy what you enjoy.”

“So then I should be concentrating more on having fun than on anything else while I’m here?”

“Pretty much, and you do that well already, Frankie. Better than most,” the ELF said. “Basically you allow for both work time and play time. You know that something has to pay for your toys, so work matters, too, but you kid around with your employees and your customers. You keep it light when you can, so you even make work time as pleasant as possible. Still, I’d encourage you to go a little heavier on the play time.”

Are YOU having fun yet?

*The ELF is an acronym for The Eternal Life Force, from the novel “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin. To read the first three chapters of “Go to ELF FREE”, go to http://gotoelf.com

 The book “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin is available on Amazon.com as a perfect paperback or on Kindle for electronic transmission.

Throughout our lifetimes, we develop a number of “thinking habits” that really poison the soil of our minds.  Changing those unhealthy “thinking habits”, of course, requires that we be AWAKE to what we are actually doing.   We may intend to be more prosperous, have better health and harmonize our relationships, but we can’t keep saying and thinking “I’m broke”, “I’m sick” and “my friends don’t understand me” and expect our life experience to change. Stating positive intentions and thinking negative thoughts at the same time, is like driving a car with the gas and the brake on at the same time. 

Two examples of the persistent kinds of negative “thinking habits” that tend to foster conditions of poverty, sickness and other types of dis-ease include, but are certainly not limited to: resentment and unworthiness.  It is very difficult for our minds to accept any kind of positive new intentions while our habitual thoughts include either of those poisonous “thinking habits.”

When Leonardo Da Vinci was painting the picture of “The Last Supper”, people who lived in Milan came to see him paint and watch the painting come to life.  Shortly before that time Da Vinci had been involved in a violent disagrement with another painter, a man he really clearly resented, so he for his own amusement, as well as the amusement of his audience, he decided to get even with his adversary by painting his face on the body of Judas.  Of course all the townspeople, who knew both men, recognized that public slap in the face of his adversary and Leonardo was very pleased with his little joke for several weeks - until it came time for him to paint the face of Jesus.

Suddenly, Da Vinci found himself blocked. For a week, then a month, he tried—but whatever he did, he just couldn’t paint a face that suited Jesus. Finally, after fretting about it for quite a while, and having to face the constant concerns of his admirers, he had an AWAKENING.  He realized he couldn’t create the perfect face of Jesus as long has he held resentment for the man he had painted as Judas.  Very quickly, he painted over the face of his adversary and immediately, he was able to paint the sweet face of Jesus—the face that is now the most famous figure in ”The Last Supper.”  Resentful thoughts will always interfere with creating positive results because they are so deadly poisonous.

The very best antidote for any form of negative thinking is gratitude – particularly gratitude for the gifts you have, holding no resentment, guilt, blame or shame regarding gifts you don’t have.  Classic author Somerset Maughmn illustrated the power of gratitude in a story he wrote about a man who was a janitor at St. Peter’s Cathedral in London. After the janitor had been there a while, a new young Vicar was sent to St. Peter’s. When he found out that the janitor was illiterate, the Vicar fired him. The janitor had very little money, but he took what little he had, bought some tobacco products and a little cart, and went around the street selling tobacco. He did very well. He bought a bigger cart, and before long, he actually bought his own tobacco shop. His shop was so successful that he opened a second and then a third, and within a few years, he had the largest chain of tobacco shops in London. One day, his banker was looking at the massive amount of money in the man’s account and said, “You know, you have really done very well for yourself. It’s amazing what you’ve done as an illiterate person. I wonder what you would have done if you could read or write.” The man answered, “Well, I’d probably still be a janitor at St. Peter’s.”

When you hold on to negative or judgmental thoughts of any kind, whether they are aimed at yourself or someone else – all sorts of negative chemicals are released into your vascular system. If you do not burn up those chemicals, they stay in your arteries until they actually put little fissures or slits in the arteries themselves. Your body, being the miraculous self-healing mechanism that it is, has a way of dealing with those slits.  It creates little patches to keep blood from spilling out into your body causing internal bleeding.  Those patches are made of cholesterol. The more cholesterol patches that form – often layered one on top of the other – a new, dangerous condition presents itself – a hardening of the arteries which fosters strokes and heart attacks. Your own negative thinking is the activity that is most life-threatening to you.  At best – constant negative thinking will make you ill.  At worst – it is literally a form of suicide.

Anyone can break the cycle of negative “thinking habits” fairly quickly – once they WAKE UP and realize how serious the damage is that they are causing to themselves.  It takes some concentrated effort to change the way we think about ourselves and others – particularly if we’re used to either putting ourselves down or putting others down, but it is certainly doable.

A 38-year-old housekeeper, who knew she wasn’t very attractive and had an annoying voice, would go to the movies, see the beautiful movie stars, and say things like, “Oh, why can’t I be beautiful like that?” Or she would hear a wonderful singer and wonder, “Why can’t I have a beautiful voice like that singer?”  Her obsession with her own lack of talent and beauty just kept growing and growing until she was profoundly unhappy most of the time.   Then someone gave her a book called “The Magic of Believing.” She decided to try shifting her attitude from negative to positive.  She stopped resenting the beautiful movie stars and the successful singers. She stopped comparing herself negatively to others and instead took an inventory of her blessings. She remembered that when she was in high school, she was considered to be one of the funniest girls in her class.  Everybody had told her how funny she was and she remembered how much she loved making people laugh.  She knew she had enough drive to succeed, a pleasing personality, a kind heart and a wicked sense of humor.  So – she began to focus on being grateful for her gifts.  She literally transformed the very attributes that she had always thought of as her liabilities into world class assets by seeing herself differently. Her name is Phyllis Diller.

This really wonderful video of Phyllis talking about “The Magic of Believing” is one you won’t want to miss.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ma0FbWLSOcU - (“The Magic of Believing” is now available as a free download.  http://www.successmanual.com/free-success-ebook-magic-of-believing-claude-bristol ) 

There are four steps that anyone can take to begin to create a better life experience for him or herself:

1)    WAKE UP and take responsibility for the quality of your own thinking – thus creating fertile mental soil into which you can plant your new intentions.

2)    BE GRATEFUL for your gifts, which are different from other people’s gifts.  A grateful mind-set nurtures your intentions to manifest greater prosperity, better health, more harmonious relationship and deeper Spirituality.

3)    AFFIRM your new intentions often and believe in your own, unique wonder.  Your constant Affirmations will keep your intention strong and healthy.

4) KEEP A VIGIL on your “thinking habits” so that you don’t slip back into thoughts of resentment or unworthiness. Allow your feelings to alert you if you are reverting to old, unproductive habits.  If you’re feeling  good, your thoughts are moving you in the right direction. If you’re feeling badly, check to see what you are thinking.  If you discover that you’ve reverted to mentally rehashing the past or projecting into the future – gently shift your thoughts toward gratefulness, so that those negative thoughts don’t have a chance to take hold.

One of our favorite books is “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Based on ancient Toltec Wisdom, The Four Agreements are little contracts we make with ourselves to live a more pleasant and productive life.  The Agreements are:

• Be impeccable with your word.
• Don’t take anything personally.
• Don’t make assumptions.
• Always do your best.

The first three take some considerable practice for most people, because we’ve developed lifelong habits of telling little white lies (at the very least), taking what others think and say about us personally, and make all manner of assumptions.

But the Fourth Agreement – Always do your best, is a given.  The truth is we always do the best we can—at least the best we can do at any given moment.  Five minutes sooner or a day later, our best effort might be different; but in the now moment, we always do the best we can.

I’ve always loved Eric Butterworth’s comment, (Eric Butterworth was one of the great metaphysicans of the past century),about people who say, “If I were you, I would do it this way.” Eric says, “Don’t be silly. If you were me, you’d be doing exactly what I’m doing.” No one else can determine what our best should be, because no one else is living in our body or wrestling with our thoughts or feeling our feelings.  We always act to the best of our ability, based on the way that we feel right at that time.

Many things affect the level of our personal “best.” For example, time can affect our best performance. When we are short of time to complete a project, our best probably isn’t as good as it is when we have lots of time to work on the project. 

When my son, Bill, was going to turn seven, I was leading a particularly hectic life. Other years I had been blessed with plenty of time to plan pretty elaborate birthday parties for him, but that year, I was working at a very demanding job and trying to fit in “being a good mother” around the demands of my employer.

A friend of mine, whose brother was a fireman in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, told me that the fire department often invited groups of kids to come to a firehouse by appointment to watch a demonstration of what the firemen did. Bill thought that would be really fun, so I arranged for the firehouse tour for the entertainment portion of his birthday party, followed by a trip to McDonald’s for lunch.

I knew that should have been enough, but riddled with “working mother” guilt, and because I had always baked him an elaborate theme cake in past years, I stopped off at the local bakery on my way home from work the night before the party and asked if they could decorate a cake with a firehouse theme. The cake lady I spoke with wasn’t at all sure, because it wasn’t one of their standard designs. “Well,” I said, “just do the best you can. I’ll pick the cake up at 10:00 tomorrow morning.”

When I went back to the bakery the next morning, the cake lady showed me what could only be described as an artistic masterpiece in frosting! There was a fire truck, complete in every detail, hoses coiled and uncoiled all around the truck, a fireman on the front seat and another hanging off the back of the truck, a Dalmatian, and even a fire hydrant. 

I took a deep breath and asked, “How much is this cake going to cost?”

“The usual price,” the cake lady said smiling.

“But this is magnificent!” I said. “You told me you weren’t even sure that you could come up with a firehouse theme.”

“Well,” the cake lady explained, “we have a new night baker, and so that he wouldn’t be overwhelmed on his first night, the day shift bakers did most of his regular work for him. All he had to do all night was to decorate this cake—and he got a little carried away. We’ve taken some pictures of it,” she added. “It might just be the most elaborate thing we’ve ever done for a customer, but there’s no extra charge to you.”

The night baker had had the opportunity to spend as much time as he needed, and so he had decided to use it doing his best at decorating the cake. His best was pretty good—because I’m still talking about it forty+ years later!  Maybe he is, too. 

Most of us do our best based on the information we have at the time we start a project.  But if that information changes, sometimes our priorities change with them. This is one of our favorite narratives, written by a man who discovered something about himself and based on that new information, decided to check out his own priorities and improve on his personal best.

“I carried my coffee into my office one Saturday morning and began to think about the way I was spending my life.  I figure that the average person lives about 75 years. I know—some live more, some less—but on an average, folks live 75 years.  I multiplied 75 X 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in his entire lifetime. At the time I did this exercise, I had already lived through more than 2300 hundred Saturdays. It occurred to me that if I lived to be 75, I only had about 1000 more Saturdays to enjoy.

“So I went to a toy store, and I bought all of the marbles that they had. I had to go to three toy stores before I found 1000 marbles, but I found them. I took them home and I put them in a large, clear plastic container and every Saturday since, I have taken out one marble and thrown it away. I found that watching the marbles disappear has helped me to focus on the really important things in my life and I take a lot more pleasure in making each day the best I can, not only on Saturdays, but every day.

“Today is my 75^th birthday, and this morning, I took out the last marble. Yesterday, I went out and bought another 1000 marbles. Each Saturday morning from now on, I’m going to put a new marble into my jar, make the most of that day just because I can, and thank God for all my bonus Saturdays to come.”

There are a number of things that can happen in our lives to change the level of our best performance:

The amount of time we have to do a job can make a difference, as it did for the baker who decorated Bill’s cake. If he had not had all night to work on that cake, the level of his best would surely have been different.

New information can make a difference in the level of our performance. The storyteller received new information when he realized that his life was ticking away and he wasn’t paying much attention to how it was unfolding.

Our moods can make a difference in our performance. Psychologist Joseph Bailey says, “If I wake up in a bad mood, my wife seems less attractive and my kids a lot more bratty.”  Funny how that works, isn’t it?

Our health can also make a difference. If we are performing at a low energy level, our output in any direction is going to be lower than when our bodies are working at peak efficiency.

What the Toltec are asking us to do (by making an agreement with ourselves “to always do our best”) is to understand that life doesn’t require any more of us than that.  Even if our best on any given day falls short of our personal best – we really need to let it go and move on to a better best.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

And The Eternal Life Force reminds us that it takes only a tiny bit of effort to shift our consciousness to a place where our best can only get better. ““If you are feeling any kind of bad, wake yourself up and start to think about something else, something that makes you feel at least a little bit better. As soon as you allow yourself to feel better, the circumstances of your life will get better.”  - The ELF

Always remember, The ELF loves you and so do we –

The Revs

John and Lauren McLaughlin

*The ELF is an acronym for The Eternal Life Force, from the novel “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin.  To read the first three chapters of “Go to ELF FREE”, go to http://www.unitynow.com

 And also remember to subscribe to our “Go to ELF!” Blog at http://gotoelf.wordpress

The book “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin is available on Amazon.com as a perfect paperback or on Kindle for electronic transmission.

Scientists have discovered that all of us have something called a reticular activating system in the back of our brains, in the medulla oblongata. This reticular activating system is a group of net-like cells that filter the information our senses are sending to us all the time.

 Because of this unique part of our make-up, we don’t consciously receive all the information that is available to us in any given moment.  Basically, we only receive information that is valuable to us at any given time about things that can either help us or hurt us.  Almost everything else is withheld until such time as we have a “need to know”.

By any chance, are you aware right this minute of the way your shoes are feeling?  Or should we ask, were you aware of how your shoes were feeling until we mentioned it? 

 That information was there all the time, but you had screened it out until something brought it to your attention.  Of course if something had been wrong with your foot, then the reticular activator would have let you know that your shoe was pinching, you were developing a blister, the floor was on fire, etc.  Otherwise, you are usually very unaware of your own feet most of every day.

Can you imagine if you clearly saw, heard, smelled, tasted and felt everything that was going on around you every minute of the day?  Just through your sense of hearing alone, you would be bombarded with the noises made by passing traffic, buzzing insects, conversations in adjoining rooms, air conditioners, radios, televisions, music, ringing telephones, crying babies, barking dogs  and much more.  You wouldn’t ever be able to concentrate on much of anything.

A young married couple bought their first house, which had a railroad track right behind it. Two trains came by each night, and the whole house would shake. The first night the couple spent in the house, the first train came rumbling past and abruptly woke them. After the train went by, the couple went back to sleep, but then the second train passed, waking them up again. The two didn’t get much sleep that first night. The same thing happened on the second night, but it took a little longer for the couple to wake up when the trains passed. On the third night, they hardly noticed the trains, and by the fourth night, they didn’t even hear them. They slept very soundly. Since the train was not a threat in anyway, their reticular activating systems simply kept the noise from getting through to them.

The following year, however, that same young couple had a baby. On the night they came home from the hospital, they put the baby to bed and then went to sleep themselves. The train came through and they didn’t hear it, but shortly after that, when baby began to wake and made just a little  “Ehh” sound in his crib, what happened? The mother woke right up. Just that little sound woke her, because she was “set” to hear it.

What would happen if just as the train was coming by, making a racket, the baby said “Ehh” at the same time? Could the mother hear the baby? Of course she could. The reticular activating system is so powerful that it can allow her to ignore the noise of the train but hear the baby. It heightens important pieces of information and diminishes the others, acting as a filtering system that protects us from the hordes of incoming information. It’s set by what we believe is important—what we believe might hurt us or help us.

And that’s an important point.  This physical screening system only lets into our conscious awareness what we BELIEVE will help us or hurt us – and we and we alone decide exactly what that is.

When it rains, for example, it simply rains. It doesn’t rain for us. It doesn’t rain against us.  We add our own meanings to whether rain is a good or bad thing. Rain doesn’t fall because we have planted a garden that needs rain to nourish it.  Nor does it ever rain for the purpose of ruining our picnics or our parades – it just rains. Any meaning we apply to what it means when it rains comes from our own belief system – and the good news about that is, that we can change that belief system anytime. What’s true for us is only true because we say so.

We know – it doesn’t seem possible that what’s wrong with our lives could possibly be caused by us, but think about it.  There are two brothers – one likes spinach and one doesn’t.  One night, their Mother says, “I didn’t have time to go to the store today so all we’re having for dinner is spinach.”  One brother is happy, the other isn’t and it has nothing to do with spinach – it has to do with each boys personal likes and dislikes.

On a larger scale, the outcomes of your life depend mostly on your personal preferences -.

There is a long list of jobs, for example, that we personally would not, under any circumstances, enjoy holding – yet there are other people in this world doing those same jobs right now and are perfectly happy doing them.

There are dozens of people that neither one of us would ever choose to marry, yet most of them are happily married to other people and wouldn’t want to marry us either.

So if the concept of what is right and wrong with our life is based on our own beliefs, how do we change those beliefs if we want to?  Well, first you have to observe them and John recommends this five- step process –

1) Show up. Just be present for life.  Say: “Okay, I’m going to see what life has to offer today.”

2) Pay attention. Look not so much at what is going on inside your mind but at what’s going on around you.  Quit analyzing; just look at the way your life is unfolding and see it the way it really is.

3) Speak your Truth. Say what you believe to be true, because by speaking your own truth, you can examine it and see how true it really is for you.

4) Stay detached from the results. Don’t take anything personally. It’s just “stuff” going on.

 5) Spend 20 minutes a day in meditation, (even if you’ve never done it before or don’t know how to do it). All you have to do is sit quietly and let your mind slow down as much as possible. Repeat this phrase like a mantra: Let go and let God.  Especially let go of your thoughts – that eternal wheel of thought that keeps running around in your head – that monkey-mind that keeps chattering, old, incessant, worn-out thoughts.  Let those old thoughts go and let God give you some new ones.

Isn’t it time to begin to rule your own thoughts, before they begin to rule you?

*MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS is a home study course on 12 DVD’s, originally filmed with a class of 40 students from Unity Church of Palm Harbor, Florida.  It is available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Is-Your-Own-Business/dp/0982946406/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1309631786&sr=1-2-fkmr2 

MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS  is also referenced in my novel, “Go to ELF!” 

To experience more inspiration from The ELF – go to www.gotoelf.com; of visit our Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/#!/GotoELF

You may also subscribe to this blog – just go to the upper right corner of this page and click on Subscribe.  Each new blog will be sent directly to your e-mail in box as it is posted. 

JUST A REMINDER – “Go to ELF!” has gone global!  Readers in the United States, Canada, the UK and Europe may now purchase Lauren’s book, “Go to ELF!”, electronically on Amazon at either the Book Store or the Kindle Store for $8.99 and download  it – not only to a Kindle Reader – but also to your PC, MAC, iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, Android or Windows Phone 7.  The app is FREE. Why not use this convenient link and start enjoying this happy summer read right now. http://www.amazon.com/GO-TO-ELF-ebook/dp/B005J0IMSI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1314500464&sr=1-1

“Attitudes are caught – not taught.”  That’s a pretty profound thought – not an original one, we admit, but a significant one.

I remember the first time it registered with me that I had “caught” a bad attitude, just like I might have “caught” a bad cold.  I had just returned from having lunch with a group of women I thoroughly enjoyed being with, but instead of feeling good about the experience, I had been put-off by the attitude of the waitress who had served them.  It started the minute we were seated. The waitress said with a sneer and a sigh, “I suppose you all want separate checks”.  Then she didn’t like that most of us ordered only water to drink, and she wasn’t happy when one of us wanted to deviate from what was shown on the menu. When she served our food, she didn’t even put the plates in front of us; she just passed them down the line. Although we tried to jolly her and send her good energy each time she walked away from the table, I left that restaurant feeling cranky myself. I had absolutely caught that negative attitude.  WhenI  returned to my office, a piece of material on my desk caught  my eye. It said, “Attitudes are caught—not taught” and I began to wonder how I had allowed the waitress’s attitude to affect me so acutely.

By contrast to that restaurant experience, My husband and I often go to a restaurant called “First Watch”.  From their top management down, they exude good nature.  If we ever have a poor attitude when we get there, we have a good one by the time we leave.  The restaurant is spotlessly clean and attractive, the decor pleasant, the staff friendly, the food healthy and delicious.  The menu reads: “Thank you for coming in. Separate checks any time you ask—just give us a few extra minutes. Special requests are not a problem—we will honor them if we can. No extra charge if you share or ask for another plate. We never charge an automatic gratuity for any size of party. Kids’ menus are available—just ask.”  And a note on the menu adds, “Gift certificates available.” Well, who wouldn’t want to buy a friend a gift certificate to a restaurant that decides to like you, even before you arrive? 

The Master Teacher taught us to not buy into other people’s attitudes. His teachings were pretty radical 2000 years ago—and in some ways, they seem just as radical today.  He reminded us that even though we might not be able to control the behaviors of all of the people who cross our path, we are always fully in control of our attitude about them.  In “The Sermon on the Mount” from the book of Matthew, Chapter 5, he said: “You have heard it said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for he makes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. For if you love only those who love you, what reward have you?” 

It isn’t hard to cut someone, who is being a little bit nasty, a bit of slack. In the case of the waitress, I admit that I was pretty short on compassion for the woman that day.  After all, I was sitting down, having a good time with people I liked. I had money to spend to eat in a nice restaurant and I wasn’t in any pain – mental, emotional or physical.  The waitress, on the other hand, was having to do hard work to earn her living, navigate pushy, careless crowds, put up with people in all kinds of moods, be in the constant presence of people who were having fun when she wasn’t, and very probably at least her feet hurt, if not other parts of her as well. I felt badly when I later replayed the lunch scene in my mind. It would have been so easy for me to ask her a few questions, commiserate with her a little if she wanted me to, and be genuinely appreciative of her service.  But after the fact, I can only remind myself that next time I will behave differently.” 

Our attitudes change minute by minute, especially when we allow ourselves to  be buffered about by the behavior of others.  Of course sometimes, they adjust positively.  Recently I was standing in a line at the supermarket where a woman a few places ahead of her in line was berating the poor check-out clerk about the poor service she had received at the Deli counter.  The cashier was very polite, very sympathetic and offered to call the manager, but the customer paid her bill and just stormed out muttering about never coming back to that store again.   After watching the woman walk all the way out of the store, the cashier turned to the next customer in line, took a breath, and asked, “Is everything OK with you, Sir?”  “Sure,” he replied pleasantly, “I’m just fine.  I didn’t go to the Deli.”  Because customer #2 didn’t allow the bad experience of customer #1 to affect him, we all chuckled, including the cashier, and satisfaction prevailed in that check-out line.

 If you think maybe you have developed a habit of catching other people’s bad attitudes, why not do a spot-check on yourself?  (Watching the six-o’clock news is a good place to begin your test.) The minute you begin to feel annoyed, or even piqued by what someone else is saying or doing, take an inventory.   Ask yourself, “Whose attitude is making me feel less than good.  Is it really my own, or am I pigging-backing on someone else’s bad attitude?”  And if the answer is that you are reacting to someone else negatively, we offer this, fool-proof affirmation.  Just say, “I am who I am, and I allow others to be who they are!” – and  keep repeating it until you mean it.  From there, if you can muster up a little compassion for that person, that’s good for you too .- “For if you love only those who love you, what reward have you?” “

You can take steps to change your own attitude from worse to better anytime by using very simple tools: 

HUMOR -  “I didn’t go to the Deli”

GRATITUDE – “There but for the grace of God, goes me.” 

UNDERSTANDING -  “You don’t seem to be having a very good day?  What is going on to make you so unhappy?” 

COMPASSION – “I bless this person and whatever is happening that is causing so much unhappiness that it pops right up on the surface, like this.” 

KINDNESS – “What, if anything, can I do to make this person feel better, even for a minute?” 

Remember, your attitudes are contagious, too.  

*The ELF is an acronym for The Eternal Life Force, from the novel “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin.  To read the first three chapters of “Go to ELF FREE”, go to http://www.unitynow.com

 And also remember to subscribe to our “Go to ELF!” Go to the upper right hand corner of this page and click on “Subscribe” – a copy of this blog will come directly to your e-mail inbox.

The book “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin is available on Amazon.com as a perfect paperback or on Kindle for electronic transmission.

In fact, most of the time we are looking at some situation in our lives, taking it in, and then reframing it or “spinning” the facts around it until it becomes acceptable to us. 

One of the most amusing examples of a great “spin” around a dismal reality, takes me back to the 1980’s and my days in the Real Estate business.  Another Associate and I were holding an open house in downtown St. Petersburg, FL, in a very old, very outdated rooming house that was available for sale.  It had about six dingy rooms to be rented out in the main house and a series of small rooms in a back building that resembled a very smarmy motel.  My colleague, who was new to the business, was showing the customer the property while I stood by to answer any questions.  They entered one of the small rooms in the back building that had a tiny kitchen area which featured a rusty hot plate.  I had to bite back a smile when she heard my colleague say brightly – “And this unit features ‘counter-top’ cooking.”  

The best imaginers in the world are children. They can make something out of nothing and have you believing it’s really there. Perhaps my favorite story of a child’s “mind-magic, comes from my colleague, Reverend John Considine in Detroit.  His little daughter, Tamsin, drew a picture of a woman without any arms.  Her mother was examining the picture as Tamsin explained, quite matter-of-factly that the woman had no arms.  “I can see that,” her Mother said. “Where are her arms?”  Tamsin held up her pencil and said confidently, “They’re still in here.”  

Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”  

Whether we realize it or not, we’re using our imagination all the time. Another colleague of ours mine that her own children could proudly boast having achieved MSU degrees.  That’s short for “Make Stuff Up.”  

Like all tools, our imaginations can be used to create good things or bad ones.  Worrying, fretting, fearing what might happen tomorrow, would all come under poor uses of an otherwise wonderful attribute.  If we make up terrible outcomes in our minds, we draw those very outcomes right to us.  Job lamented, “My worst fear has come upon me.”  But if we make up really good outcomes in our minds, we draw those right to us, also.  

Day dreaming, mind grazing, imagining “What if….?” fall under good uses for the imagination.  Here’s how “What if….? works.  You start your mind off with one good “What if….?”  question and then it will take off on its own , creating hundreds more. So it is crucial that you start your thoughts going in the right direction right from the start. The fact that ”thoughts think” – that they have little minds of their own, is one of my husband John’s signature teachings, which is why he calls his DVD series, “MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS.”  You can be in charge of your own thought processes but you have to be AWAKE to do it.   

I invite you to “assume the position” to begin playing “What if…?”   So – what is the position?  Have you ever noticed that when you want to solve a problem or think through a situation you instinctively place two or three fingers of your predominant hand on your brow and  just rest them there, sometimes also resting your elbow on the table for support?  Try it and you’ll recognize it.   Often you get lost in that position for a few moments, don’t you?  That’s because you have moved inside your head to consult your third-eye, which lies right behind your forehead.  It is with that internal eye, the eye that sees without seeing, that you create your future.   

Now ”assume the position”, (you can close your eyes or keep them open once you know how to play the game), and let’s try playing “What if….?” the right way - 

Ask yourself: 

What if …I had all the money I would ever need in my bank account right now? 

What if …I felt 20 years younger? 

What if …I never got sick? 

What if …dying is painless? 

What if …someone invited me to travel with them to all sorts of great places – and paid my way? 

What if …my present car disappeared overnight and replaced itself with a new one that I would just love?  

What if my…..(spouse, parents, children, siblings, friends, bosses, and everyone I interact with)…all treated me with gentle kindness, respect and quality service?  

What if…all wars around the world ended on the same day?  

(Keep going on your own until the natural rush of “What if…?” questions rolls to a natural stop.)  

Remember, whatever positive thoughts you are holding in mind this week – real or imagined - if uninterrupted by negative thoughts, will begin to manifest sometime in January – perhaps even sooner.  So nothing could be more important than to imagine what you want, believe you can have it, and then wait to collect it.

Hmmmm…isn’t that interesting? The ELF is very clear to point out that we get to make all our own choices. The Universe simply presents us with opportunities and we choose the ones we like best. So, why choose the path of least resistance? Isn’t that the lazy way out? Not necessarily, because contrary to popular opinion, the path of least resistance isn’t always the easiest path. For example, to someone who hasn’t really thought it through, an easy way out of immediate personal poverty might be robbing a bank or shop-lifting or purse-snatching or holding down three jobs to make ends meet. But none of those paths are without serious obstacles down the road and so they are definitely not paths of least resistance. Three of them will put you in jail and the third one will make you feel like you are in jail. Cooperating with the Law of Attraction would be a less resistant path because, when practiced consistently, it always works.

Here’s another example: Even though eating every day at a fast-food restaurant or living only on ice cream with chocolate sauce might seem “convenient”, those choices don’t represent the path of least resistance if you’re also seeking a healthy life style. Learning what is both good for your body and tastes good to you as well, would be taking the path of least resistance because in the long run, it will take you toward your goal faster.

Here’s the hidden secret behind choosing the path of least resistance: The path that will make you feel best – for the longest period of time – is the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance is not always about speed and ease – it is instead about achieving desired results.

In this Holiday season, you will be inundated with choices. So let’s look at a few possible ones and see if you can readily identify the path of least resistance. 1) You need to choose a gift for a gift exchange for someone you see every day at work. Should you: a) Grab the first thing you see for the right price at the drug store or the grocery store and be done with it? b) Stop and think about that person’s likes and dislikes and take a little extra time to find a gift he or she will enjoy all year? Which one is the REAL path of least resistance? Which one will make you feel best over the longest period of time?

2) You accept an invitation to have a Holiday lunch with one friend, and then you receive another invitation from someone to do something you like better in the same time slot. Should you: a) Abandon the first friend and go with the second? b) Just forfeit your opportunity to be with the person you like best because you had made a prior commitment to someone else? c) Shift your original commitment only if you can find a way to spend time over the Holiday with both friends in a way that pleases both you and them? Which choice is the REAL path of least resistance? Which one will make you feel best over the longest period of time?

3) Your son wants an iPod for Christmas. Should you: a) Just go to the nearest store that sells electronic gadgets and buy him one, no matter if it stretches your budget and you will be financially squeezed next month? b) Give him a check or a gift card for what you can afford and bless him in his effort to achieve his goal? c) Engage the help of a techy-type friend who can really help you shop for the best product at the best price? Which choice is the REAL path of least resistance? Which one will make you feel best over the longest period of time?

4) You see a panhandler on the street and you are faced with the choice of sharing some of your wealth with him, or not. Should you: a) Keep your money because there is a possibility that if you give it to the scruffy looking man, he will use it for some unworthy purpose? b) Give because you can and it feels good to be able to share your good with someone less fortunate who comes across your path? Which one is the REAL path of least resistance? Which one makes you feel best over the longest period of time? Check out this possibility…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DXL9vIUbWg

Choosing the path of least resistance is always easier when you keep in mind the three rules for a happy life that The ELF teaches us: 1) You are never alone. The ELF is always with you – everywhere and always. 2) The answer to any question you may ask is already written on your heart. 3) You came to planet earth to have fun.  It’s as easy as 1-2-3. 1) and 2) will always point you toward the REAL path of least resistance and 3) guarantees you will enjoy your trip. ________________________________________ *The ELF is an acronym for The Eternal Life Force, from the novel “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin. To read the first three chapters of “Go to ELF FREE”, go to http://www.unitynow.com

You may subscribe to this blog by simply going to the upper right hand corner of this page and click on Subscribe The book “Go to ELF!” by Lauren McLaughlin is available on Amazon.com as a perfect paperback or on Kindle for electronic transmission.

And if you have lots of joy – it is joy that is inside you.  Can we redesign our insides to make our outsides work better?  You bet.  As long we remember that we can’t jump instantly from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in one easy step.  Sadness to joy, for example, has to be accomplished in incremental, consistent steps, starting with baby steps.  No matter how sad, mad, resentful, unforgiving, condemning or ill you may be feeling right this minute, there is always one first step you can take toward “happy”.  

Maybe that first step is just stopping your activity long enough to remember something or someone who once made you laugh.  Maybe it is taking time to remember when you made someone else laugh.  You might try listening to music that sooths your soul, or take a walk in the woods, or work with a hobby or an avocation that you love, or eat something delicious. There is always at least one small, simple, cost-free step you can take toward “happy”.  And once you’ve taken that one step – from your new tiny shift in consciousness – you will find a next step and a next and a next. 

One of Reverend John’s favorite sayings is: “Be Happy, go Lucky.” And he’s very quick to point out the saying isn’t “Be Lucky, go Happy.”  Happiness comes first.  Then lucky, along with a lot of other pleasant conditions, can manifest without obstruction. 

Wherever you are in consciousness, you can always do one or more things to raise your “happiness” quotient.  Here are 7 suggestions – and December is an ideal time to practice at least some of them, because if you can end this year on a high note, you will go a long way toward setting the stage for a happier year to come.  

1)   Make a list of ten things that make you happy – Ex: walks in the woods, listening to your favorite CD, going to a movie, eating a butterscotch sundae, playing or watching your favorite sport, hanging out with a friend or friends, playing with your pet, etc. And then schedule time to do all 10 of them at least once before December 31st. (We know – you’re busy, but never too busy to be happy.) 

2)   Make a list of 50 people, places or things for which you are grateful.  Consistent gratitude begets consistent joy.  Speaker/Author Louise Hay says “You just can’t be grateful and unhappy at the same time.”

3)   Do something for yourself that spells “luxury”.  Take a nice long, hot bubble bath or a 20 minute shower, eat a double fudge brownie, take a trip to your  favorite art museum, take an afternoon nap, noodle on a musical instrument, watch a favorite Christmas movie, dine in a restaurant that has table cloths, etc. (To tell the Universe that luxury is your first choice, buy at least one lottery ticket and expect to win!) 

4)   Do something for yourself that you find relaxing. Take a walk on the beach, a trip to a spa, have a massage, enjoy a time of meditation, take a nap, spend an uninterrupted hour with a really good book. 

5)   Perform a Random Act of Kindness.  Nothing makes you feel more joy than creating a joyful experience for someone else.

6)   Sing.  Whether you sing well or not  – it just doesn’t matter; sing in the shower, sing in the car, sing in the woods – or sing in the choir – but make a joyful noise and keep making it until you shift into a happier space.  

7)      Let your soul express – write, talk, paint, or be like this fellow – dance as if no one is watching and then don’t care whether they watch, or not!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlZ8DXRnM-0  

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*MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS is a home study course on 12 DVD’s, originally filmed with a class of 40 students from Unity Church of Palm Harbor, Florida.  It is available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Is-Your-Own-Business/dp/0982946406/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1309631786&sr=1-2-fkmr2

MIND IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS  is also referenced in Lauren’s book, “Go to ELF!”

To experience more inspiration from The ELF – subscribe to our Go to ELF blog at http://gotoelf.wordpress.com .  (If you click on “e-mail subscribe” in the right had corner of this page,  each new Go to ELF blog with then go directly to your inbox.)

JUST A REMINDER – “Go to ELF!” has gone global!  Readers in the United States, Canada, the UK and Europe may now purchase Lauren’s book, “Go to ELF!”, electronically on Amazon at either the Book Store or the Kindle Store for $8.99 and download  it – not only to a Kindle Reader – but also to your PC, MAC, iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, Android or Windows Phone 7.  The app is FREE. Why not use this convenient link and start enjoying this happy summer read right now. http://www.amazon.com/GO-TO-ELF-ebook/dp/B005J0IMSI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1314500464&sr=1-1