Last night, I had the joy of participating in a radio interview on MPowerRadio with hostess Linda Ballesteros. I thoroughly enjoyed talking about “Go to ELF! with a new reader, one who had just met Tony and Molly and Frankie and Anna, and most significantly, The ELF in hersELF. Here is the link to that interview, so that you can hear how our conversation unfolded.
One theme, that I find comes up in conversation often and was the kick-off subject for Linda, is the realization that no matter what happened to us in our childhood, no matter how good or bad that was, we can assume complete responsibility for what happens in our adulthood; specifically the way we conduct ourselves through the changing circumstances that affect the rest of our lives. Of course, fulfilling that responsibility is easier and more effective if we exercise it in tandem with THE ELF.
As part of the interview, Linda wondered if she had stayed in her job in the banking industry, even though vast changes occurred in the way her job was structured, longer than she might have liked to because she was still trying to please her parents. Interesting question. We have all had the experience of knowing, somehow, that whatever we have invested in so far is not really working for us any longer, whether it is a career or a relationship or an investment or an avocation; and yet we have continued down the same road because it was familiar and making a change was scary.
To avoid doing that again, no matter what our age and no matter what our focus – it’s always a good time to ask ourselves two vital questions: “What am I doing?” and then “Why am I doing it?”
Why am I investing in this particular activity? Does it really benefit me? Am I doing it to please myself, or someone else? Am I trying to prove something to myself or someone else? Do I look forward to doing it? Am I happy continuing in this direction? Is the only reason I stay here because I’m afraid to make a change?
If the answer is anything other than: It pleases me to do this job, invest in this relationship, continue this fitness program, stay with this volunteer activity, follow this course of study, continue indulging in this habit, then you might want to take a step back and notice what kind of return you are getting on your investment. If your pursuits, personal or professional, are of value to you and pleasurable for you to continue, then by all means, full speed ahead. But if they are not, at least consider what you would rather be doing instead and what could be your first step toward that new goal.
The ELF teaches us that we came to planet earth to have fun. Fun doesn’t have to be your only priority, and fun means different things to different people, but you should always like, really like, what you spend significant amounts of your time doing.
You only have one life, at least this time on planet earth. Doesn’t it seem wise to plan to really enjoy the ride?
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